My podcast is about my obsession with art.
The stories I am doing are from me.
My podcast is about my obsession with art.
The stories I am doing are from me.
Speaker 1 [00:00:02] Hi, I’m Rachel Grey, and I’m Debbie Radcliffe, and welcome to our podcast Speak.
Speaker 2 [00:00:11] Yes, a podcast from Being Studio. Being Studio is a community of artists with developmental disabilities. And today on Speak, we’re going to hear from Analisa Kiskis. So, Debbie, how would you describe Analisa?
Speaker 1 [00:00:32] She’s fine, she’s great. She’s a great interpreter with sign language. And I love her because she’s funny.
Speaker 2 [00:00:49] Yeah, I think of Analisa as somebody who is really clear on the fact that they’ve been on a journey. Do you feel like you’ve been on a journey to become an artist?
Speaker 1 [00:01:03] I think so, I think so, yeah. Don’t know where it came from, but, yeah.
Speaker 2 [00:01:13] Do you feel like you’re at the you’ve arrived at your journey, or does it feel like it’s ongoing?
Speaker 1 [00:01:20] How are you getting on going? Still, I think that I want to do is if I could get a studio for myself. It is build a huge like either a full dragon or just the head of a dragon.
Speaker 2 [00:01:43] But big, has it been a difficult path to becoming an artist?
Speaker 1 [00:01:51] Well, I would say from my heart surgery and all that jazz. That happened before. Yeah, I didn’t I didn’t know what I wanted to be. But then I. I either want to follow my dad’s footsteps, which was the army, or I want to be a palaeontologist. Those are the only two that I could think of. But then. Shearling found being studio for me. And I loved it from the first step I went in. It’s a lot of fun, it’s a lot of dedication. It’s. It’s when you put your heart and soul and your work and it comes out beautiful. How long did it take you to discover that you were an artist?
Speaker 2 [00:03:06] Yeah, I’m not I’m not sure if I have a straightforward answer to that question. Like, I love making art when I was a kid, and I think it was one of the few things I felt good at. But then for a long time, I didn’t have the confidence to even think of myself as an artist, like, I think I really started doubting that as I got older and. I thought only certain. Certain people almost had the right to be an artist and that those people would be like so dramatically talented or would be able to draw perspective drawing like a really young age, or they would not struggle to like they would just want to do art constantly. They would never want to stop. And and I would look around sometimes at some of my friends, and I thought they were much better at drawing. And so all those things made me feel like I couldn’t be an artist, like I should not even try because. I just wasn’t it wasn’t meant to be for me, so it I took a very windy path and it took me a long time to realise. I don’t want to say how ridiculous that idea is, because I think there’s a lot of things that make us feel that way. Like I I don’t think that idea came from me that came from the world. But it took me a long time to learn how to how to block that out in that bit. I could define how I wanted to be an artist.
Speaker 1 [00:04:42] And your work is beautiful.
Speaker 2 [00:04:45] Thank you. I would say it’s it’s just a huge gift, like it’s just such a weight off me to stop looking around, like to stop this thing where every time I make a drawing, I think, is that good enough? Like, am I good at art? Should I be making art? I like to just lay that aside and just get to create.
Speaker 1 [00:05:10] Yeah, it’s like, OK, I know you’re here, I know you’re trying to tell me I’m not good enough to do that, but shut up and get out.
Speaker 2 [00:05:23] Yes, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Shut up and get out. And you push that well those thoughts away for long enough. And it’s not like they go away totally, but they certainly don’t have as much power as they used to.
Speaker 1 [00:05:36] Yeah, it’s like I’m bigger than you. So suck it up, buttercup. Exactly. And yes, they’re frightening words.
Speaker 3 [00:05:53] Well, I’m and it’s a kiss kiss I’m from being here and I am part of the poem, um, I’m very creative person. I love to tell stories, I love to paint. I love to draw. And since I was a kid through my artist journey, I. I see myself as a kid drawing on furnitures. When I first draw on the furniture since I was a kid, my dad usually yells at me and I don’t try furnitures. And then I grab my sketchbook and I just draw what I feel. I go with my heart. I was a kid, I was small, I was skinny. I love to one rock, tap, dance and ballet. My room with big ears, pink. I have a bed, I do have a dresser drawers. I got clothes all over the place. I didn’t make messes and I draw paint. I still make messes. I have to have like videotapes all over the floor, like, uh, VHS tapes. My dad is tall, he’s big, he wears glasses like me. I love his miles and I love his bushy beard. I love to pull it. And he is very generous, very outspoken. And he’s taller than me and you louder than me. And you have to talk a lot with a lot of people. You were 13 years old when I first started out tomorrow, and ever since I did painting and drawing at heart, I can see my dad crying with tears. And he said to me, At least I’m very proud of you. Please continue with your work. I just keep on going with my art, my painting and my drawing. And I know what I feel in my gut. So time, my heart, my mind, my body. And so my mother is a soft hearted person and I and I get that from her. And I do have a big heart because I love to share it with the world and to public the mind. It’s like a mindset that I used my mind to think. I want to say everybody is taking care of yourself as a nurse yourself and loving yourself about your body. So it’s like a spirit, a spirit that goes everywhere in the world or up in heaven from the mind, the body and the heart. And so is it. It’s everything, art about everything. The heart is the heart and mind of the mind, the body, the body, the spirit to the soul. It’s like we would do things with our hands that goes on the paper or canvas when we write stories. My art is Frida Kahlo and she’s very inspiring and all her artwork that she does with her pain and struggles. And that’s what I love about her. You were inspirational to me. She helped me with my artistic journey. Wherever I am, I wherever I go. Now, I got three moms, my step mom, my birth mom and Frida Kahlo, my my third mom. I buy her the way she inspired me. And what is bothering me, she treats me like I’m I’m her third daughter and she knows how I love doing art. And she very proud of me. I’m doing a lot of wonderful art and she’s very proud of what I’m doing so far. I don’t want to get into personal details about her personal struggles, but the way she described it in your painting is where she feels tight in her heart, take her mind body, but her soul and spirit will listen. I think for your culture and my journey, I think together as one and we the same struggles and pain I lost, we both connected because we together I struggle with my marriage and her marriage and her body with pain, but yet several operations. And for me, I don’t have any operations. I do have other pain that it’s my body. Different type of arthritis pain.
Speaker 2 [00:11:21] How do you think we learn to live with pain?
Speaker 3 [00:11:25] It’s hard. Um, it’s tough. We grieve a lot, especially with my marriage and her marriage. We both connected because we have different different marriages. It goes together. But I feel, uh, what I feel inside, I hear a lot of things. And my when I do a lot of research on her, but also myself, uh, I hear how she uses her voice and how she talks about herself has a different type of tone, a different colour in her voice. And she expressed that she used it to paint on the canvas, uh, picture of herself like self-portrait, my favourite, more like multicoloured if mixed, like different types, the purple, bright colours, pink, blue, uh, oceans, as well as oceans, like being on a beach. I just kind of always the same way she does with different. Type of multicoloured blend together. I don’t I don’t have a favourite colour, but I like purple. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I do get frustrated with work. Sometimes I take it I use my voice. Uh, now it’s not the way I wanted to talk. The way I wanted to talk. Yeah. Um. Sometimes I meditate, I do some colouring on my iPad, and I do writing if I feel like if I feel like if I, I like to paint or draw in my sketchbook. Silence feels like just quiet and peace, and you don’t hear anything. I like birds, I like oceans. I love to work on beautiful green grass. I love walking on leave. That hearing, the crunch sound of the leaves. I smile a lot and I love to laugh. I do have a sense of humour. Um, my favourite thing to smile when I see something like Frida Kahlo or I see things that make me smile when I see people smile or people laugh, sometimes cry, sometimes people cry with joy. Being asked to me is like a walk in the park. An artist is like doing drawings and paintings and I can see myself doing it, you know. And when I look at, uh, so somewhere in a mirror, like if I see myself in the mirror, I could see, uh, a little girl when I wanted to come out and to do the work and do the painting, do the drawings and and that’s who I am, uh, has an artist. Um, but I see myself in the mirror. I could see the girl in me, not just an adult, but when I see her as a kid, she knew that I have a talent of doing art. I want people to get to know me and I want people to see how beautiful I am, gorgeous I am, um, the way I. Hit me so hard, Estaban, I’m all of it. I’m a full package deal. It’s hard to describe it, but since I was a kid, I was a kid, I usually get bullied in elementary school and sometimes in high school to affected me a lot. I think I wasn’t happy in Toronto. I came to Ottawa and says my dad got sick. We moved here with my stepmom and her mom. Well, since Mark left me, um, I felt hurt. I feel lost. I suffered a lot. And I saw myself like a lot. I don’t know where to go. But with being joyo at this me up and be strong, be tough and I overcome it. And with art, I can really bring it out into my work, into my artwork. When I see the butterfly in my inside my heart, I bring it all out. I all all my images, pictures in my mind. And I use that to prove to my canvas or my drawing or painting or when I write stories about it and I feel the butterflies in my heart because I, I expand. I want to learn more, I want more outside my comfort zone or think outside of the box. My relationship with butterflies is like when you’re in a cocoon, you want to get out of the cocoon and open your wings and fly to the next journey of your life. And I love the sun. It’s warm and cool. I can feel it back in my head, I can feel it somewhere in my body and I feel warm all around me. It feels like I’m part of that world. I’m part of that artistic world. And this well, this is what I really am right now with the art world, is you have to use all your imagination, all of your heart, all of your spirit and your body that leads to another world that you want to really use that art world to bring out all of your talent into your art work. And I feel the most that you need to fill the fill you up and be strong and be tough. But you use all your tension into your art work is kind of a beautiful thing. Your artwork is a beautiful thing. My art world is going to New York City and going to school, and I love to visit Mexico City and I might be waiting for you to come. And I could see the city. I feel the city. I can hear traffic. I can smell food. I can touch things by things my clothes, my shoes, or buy a brand new iPad. Yeah, my relationship with Frida Kahlo is like full of life. I wish you were he was a child or a baby. You grew up being a teenager, an adult. She knew what to expect. She told her her ambition, her her termination. She used her life in her in her life artwork that she put out to the world the people that look at her work. And I’m doing the thing with my with my artwork. I wish I could meet a person, but my dream of being an artist has been, uh, fun, uh, having great stories. And art is like telling the story. And when I develop my art stories, it’s like, wow, that is me. I love to sing, I love music. I like Celine Dion and one song from her, My Heart Will Go On, and that’s my favourite song. Me and Mark danced to that song. I have a necklace with the heart shape that my dad gave me and that heart always with me all the time. It’s about me. It’s about Mark. It’s about life. It’s about art and about myself and my family and my friends, of course. OK, every night in my dream. I see. I see. That’s how I know you go on near. Far. Wherever you look, I believe the heart does go on once more. Was opening the door and you he. My heart and my heart will go on and on.
Speaker 1 [00:23:02] Actions Speak is hosted by Debbie the Dragon
Speaker 2 [00:23:07] Radclyffe, cohosted and produced by Rachel Grey,
Speaker 1 [00:23:14] music done by Jesse Stewart,
Speaker 2 [00:23:18] our audio technician is Aaron Plan, and the podcast is presented in collaboration with Huo eighty nine point one and in partnership with Bronson Rides, a collective impact initiative of the Bronson Centre.
Speaker 1 [00:23:36] Thank you for listening. If you like our podcast, please tell your friends, your neighbours, your family, anybody that you know.
Speaker 2 [00:23:48] Thanks for listening.
Speaker 3 [00:23:51] Bye bye.
Analisa sits in a park in a camping chair. Above her head is a large microphone. She is smiling and wearing a Frida Khalo shirt.
BEING’s original podcast series Speak is presented in collaboration with CHUO 89.1FM, in partnership with Bronson RISE, a collective impact initiative of the Bronson Centre.
Artist: Analisa Kiskis
Written by: Analisa Kiskis
Co-Hosts: Rachel Gray and Debbie Ratcliffe
Music: Jesse Stewart
Audio Technician: Erin Flynn
Website Design: Luisa Ji
SPEAK is a BEING original podcast.
SPEAK brings you the stories behind the artwork at BEING studio.